my life long habit of twirling my hair is over…

i’m going to throw up. she’s twirled her hair, pulled it out ( I actually heard it) and is now spinning and tying her group of strands in a knot. yes, ignore it but it’s making me nauseous. After this I’m stepping outside and doing ummm, well nothing because there isn’t anything to do but I can’t be next to her right now. I feel way too much and have no outlet except this. I want to cry. I miss my friends, I miss my other family. she’s still doing it, I can’t even look over, it isn’t new. I’ve found hundreds during my childhood and I’m surprised she’s not bald. and now she’s ripping it apart, mumbling curses at random black people on the tv. I just want out, I hate it here. I’m not them.


I want to watch a horror movie get a tattoo or piercing. for i fear nothing and I need to make sure I can feel pain.

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